Welcome to the DACP.
The DACP is an organization dedicated to all the DACPs of the world.
DACP stands for Dumb Ass Crippled People.
The DACP is dedicated toward providing a network where fellow DACPs can communicate and discuss their ailments.
Currently membership is as follows.
Matt Westfall (ErkDog) President and Founder.
Jamie Smith                   HMFIC of Accidental Injury, and
The HMFIC of AI is the caretaker of his fellow dumb asses, who injure themselves in stupid accidental ways. He
is in direct contact w/ the Short Bus Driver, which doubles as our emergency transport vehicle. So when one of his little moron
underlings hurts themselves he calls up 'ol Tommy and they rush them to the hospital. This works real well because if a cop stops them
for speeding he just can't bring himself to give a ticket to such a mentally challanged individual as Tommy.
Short Bus Driver.
The Short Bus Driver is a very important position here w/in the DACP. The SBD is responbile for
sure all of his fellow
retards get where they are supposed to be and when they are supposed to be there w/o getting hurt.
Jason Gong                   HMFIC of Self Mutilation.
The HMFIC of Self Mutilation automagically gets a seat right up front on the Short Bus. Just cause hurting
yourself is dumb and we all know Jason is a little slow anyway. Laff. The HMIFC of Self Mutliation is responsible for trying to keep
other DACP members from hurting themselves whether it be in an act of anger/rage or for some other reason. Keep up the good work Jason
Ryan Artrip                    Janitor.
The Janitor is one of the must pivotal positions here w/in the DACP. The Janitor is responsible for cleaning
up everything, obviously. His primary responsibilities include cleaning the Short Bus and cleaning up the messes that the Short Bus
riders inadvertantly make. Us non-retarted DACP members don't really make that much of a mess, maybe spilling a little blood now and
then. Our HMFIC of Accidental Injury spills the most blood, but that's another story all together.
Katie Moseley               Short Bus Rider.
Dear 'ol Katie, god love her but she's just about as retarted as they come. We frequently find Katie riding
around on the Short Bus w/ all her other 'special' friends. We love ya Katie !!
Anakin Skywalker is an Honorary Member of the DACP. We were not able to contact him directly, however we fell he should be awarded an
honorary membership for so foolishly getting his hand chopped off, truely an act of a true DACP member.
Pending Memberships include
If you or anyone you know would like to become a member of the DACP plese e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org for
membership information and to have
your injury portfolio reviewed by the membership committee.